3 Weeks Old

We love bath time! The robe may be a little too big...

My little dinosaur :)

This impromptu photo shoot abruptly ended after this picture.
This is apparently Jackson’s “I am pooping on the chair” face.

New shoes from Nonny.

Cool dude!

What a big boy!

Precious Boy

Jackson's Hospital Picture

Priceless!

I LOVE this picture...look at those feet!

Birth

I have been meaning to sit down and journal about Jackson’s arrival for the past two weeks. Now as he sleeps beside me maybe I can get it all down. I want to record everything while the details are still fresh on my mind not only to read it to my sweet baby boy someday but also because I believe it serves as a testament of God’s faithfulness. As I mentioned in previous posts we were going to be induced once I got to “term” which is 37 weeks gestation due to my excess amniotic fluid and the risk of cord prolapse. On Monday, September 7th I was admitted at 9:30 p.m. and was given a medication to help my cervix progress. Daniel and I watched Golden Girls re-runs on TV., slept and anticipated the arrival of our baby boy. Tuesday morning they broke my water at 9:30 a.m. and started my Pitocin about an hour later. I was having contractions about a minute and a half apart and was four centimeters dilated. My nurse asked if I was ready for my epidural and I told her I thought that I would wait (the contractions were intense, but bearable and I was very nervous about the epidural). She said that if I wanted an epidural there was no reason to wait and as the next contraction hit I agreed. Daniel had to leave the room as the epidural was administered and I can’t believe I spent nine months worrying about that epidural…it was a breeze. Maybe I had a great anesthesiologist, maybe the pain of the contractions served as a distraction but I remember it hurting less than my I.V.
About ten minutes after the epidural, the pain was gone and I was feeling much better.

The nurse came in to check me and I was still at four centimeters. The nurse was having trouble monitoring Jackson’s heartbeat on my external belly monitor and came to adjust it several times. She gave me oxygen and when that didn’t seem to affect his heart rate they placed an internal monitor on his scalp. The nurse returned a few minutes later and said that his heart rate was not improving, as she was talking another nurse who was monitoring our printout in the hallway came in asking if she “needed help” and a few minutes later my doctor arrived and said she was monitoring his heart rate from her office was concerned. My doctor’s office is right across the street from the hospital, but it was at this moment that I knew it was serious. I began to cry and pray. My entire pregnancy we have prayed each night for this sweet child but especially for his heart. Daniel has a family history of heart issues and his infant brother and one of his mother’s siblings died shortly after birth of an unknown heart condition. Our doctors were aware of this and the ultrasound technician did very thorough examinations of Jackson’s heart and everything looked great, but hearing that they were concerned about his heart rate was a scenario that I had feared for the past nine months.

I was still only at four centimeters and Jackson had dropped and was pressing on my cervix which was causing my cervix to swell. My doctor said she could feel his little cone head forming and because of the swelling there would be no way to deliver him vaginally. All I could say was “get him out”. My doctor ordered an emergency cesarean section and the anesthesiologist came in and vamped up my epidural and I went completely numb from the chest down. The nurses grabbed my monitors and began rolling me down the hall to the O.R. I know they thought I was losing it as I cried and prayed aloud (with my oxygen mask on this must have sound like I was attempting to speak in tongues). Although this was a scary moment, never in my life have I felt the presence of God more and I knew that Jackson was going to be okay and I wasn’t afraid. As I was wheeled into the O.R. and the surgery began I was crying so hard the doctor asked if I was okay. All I could say is “I am about to be a mommy!” That moment was surreal.

They started the surgery very quickly and didn’t even take time to do the “pain or pressure” test. I began to get very sleepy and I heard them say my blood pressure was dropping. They gave me a shot of something and I was back and ready to meet our baby. Daniel came in and held my hand as we waited. He kept trying to peek around the curtain to see the “action” but after seeing his facial expression of disgust I told him not to look and to look at me. We talked about all of the things we were going to do with our little boy. (It wasn’t until much later that Daniel told me that he was scared because they had called an extra anesthesiologist and an extra surgeon to assist. He said that he began to realize that things were serious as each extra person entered the room. I never would have known because he did a great job of keeping on his “game face” and keeping me calm.)

The next thing I knew I heard a cry and my heart melted. At 4:02 p.m. Jackson arrived weighing 7 pounds 11 ounces, he was 20 ½ inches long. (A big boy for being 20 days early!) He was okay, praise God! The cord was wrapped around his neck and once they removed it he was fine. They held him up for us to see and he was perfect. I can’t even type without tears because the beauty of that moment will be forever etched in my mind. God is so good and we are so thankful that He was in control the entire time.

As I hold my little miracle- sleep deprived, covered in spit up, still wearing pajamas after lunch and proud of myself just because I found time to brush my teeth this morning… I couldn’t be more happy or in love.

“You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous- and how well I know it. You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. E very moment was laid out before a single day had passed. How precious are your thoughts about me, Oh God!” Psalm 140: 13-17

Maternity Leave/ Letter to Jackson

Although I had planned to work until my due date (or until Jackson arrived) my maternity leave began this week. Because of the outbreak of the H1N1 virus at my school my doctor advised that I begin my maternity leave early. At first I was a little disappointed because I really have a great group this year and have had a wonderful first three weeks of school but after learning about the risks I am thankful to be at home resting and preparing for Jackson’s arrival. God is so good, each day I pray for his continued blessings on our family and sweet baby boy. It amazes me how throughout my life His plans far exceed my own and the love he bestows upon me even when I am so undeserving. My doctor informed me yesterday that if I wasn’t already on leave she would be putting me on leave because of the newest developments (see yesterday’s entry). It blows my mind that next week we will be holding our son.

Sweet Jackson,
Yesterday your Daddy and I learned that you will be arriving sometime next week. Although you will be three weeks early you are already a BIG boy! I couldn’t sleep last night because I can’t get you off my mind. I pray for you so often sometimes I think God must be saying “Okay Rachel, I heard that one already…” but I know he isn’t.
I know I will miss feeling your move around in my belly; your hiccups have been quite entertaining and always make me smile. Carrying you these last nine months has been a joy and now that we are a week from you being here it is so unreal. Your nursery is immaculate, your clothes are washed, birthing and breastfeeding classes attended, books read…I guess we are as ready as we can be. Being your Mom is a job that I take very seriously and the impact of that responsibility is beginning to hit me. I hope that every day you know how much you are loved and one day when you read these letters that you know how special you are to our family. Your Daddy and I wanted you so badly, prayed for you and our Savior heard our prayers and blessed us with you. I know the moment we see you and hold you will be unforgettable. Life is unpredictable, but I know one thing the love I feel for you now as real and overwhelming as it is… will only grow.
I can’t wait to hold you,
Mommy

Update

I am in complete shock. Jackson will be here NEXT week! The ultrasound today showed that he currently weighs 8 pounds 3 ounces (at 36 weeks 1 day). It also showed that I have a lot of fluid. I have been having a lot of pressure and contractions and was thrilled to find that I am almost 2 centimeters dilated and beginning to efface. Because of the risk of cord prolapse if my water breaks on its own my doctor wants to get me to term (37 weeks) and then deliver. I will be going to the hospital Monday morning, (September 7th…Labor Day…) to have a non-stress test and to check my cervical progress. Depending on the results I may be admitted for induction that day. (She said to have our bags packed just in case.) If she doesn’t feel that it’s necessary to keep us that day we will schedule an induction for later in the week but either way we will be meeting our little boy next week. I am SO excited to meet our sweet baby. I asked her about my concerns about him being early and his lung development, she said that he should be fine but the risks of cord prolapse outweigh these concerns. Please keep us in your prayers, I’ll keep you posted!